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This is a blog of a perfect person a person who attained epic fail. If you don't like it, press that FUCK OFF on the right hand corner of your browser.

i say,

Fucking dreads. Fucking eyebrows. Fucking moron.
These are the usual words you will associate me with. Provided you know me.
Hello. Say hi to my threat notebook. If you don't want other people to know what you did, be my unconditional slave KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE~!!


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Li Shan
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Sho the President
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layout: detonatedlove
Edited by: Kid
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Thursday, July 17, 2008

words, words

7/17/2008 05:43:00 PM

11 July 2008 8.07 a.m.

I was nervous. She was nervous.

You've got to admit she looks good. Stunning, I'd say.

No, I don't look as good.

As students from the Secondary section filled the hall, our heartbeats went into gear eight. Yes, gear eight. Al
though on the outside I was calm and collected, I was hoping on the inside I didn't mess it up for both of us.

Shaking hands, passing 'good luck's around, we struggled to keep a cool head. I forgot who started it, but we held hands. It really helped. She made me feel like Kid, not Chia Hoong, who's gonna go onstage later on. It gave me confidence and warmth, priceless.

Looking at the excellent performers who were before us, naturally we hoped we'd do as well. As the emcees announced our names, a drop of sweat rolled down my cheek.

Vertigo. This is what I felt when I went on stage. "Holy shit, 5sc1 made a huge banner for us." That's the first thing I saw.

Thanks, Sonia, you've helped make my day unforgettable.

And thanks to the rest of 5sc1, who supported us all the way, even if they were standing right at the back of the hall. Yee Jean was practically hollering her throat out.

Once the music started, our nervousness were forgotten, replaced by a rush of adrenaline. Her smile throughout the performance was a stimulant to me; I no longer have the plank pose.

After the performance, we waited for the verdict. Lilian didn't mind not winning, but I thought otherwise. She worked so hard, if we didn't win, I wouldn't feel right. But well, there's always a slip between the mouth and the teacup, Isabell and Hera won. They were really good, my respects and salutes.

For me, I hate failing. Strangely I didn't feel disappointed, more of satisfaction. Most of all, I felt a deep sense of loss.

Thanks Lilian, you've given me the moment of my life by agreeing to be my duet partner.
She's really great to work with, Lilian, it's really too bad, it's really too bad. I really will miss the time we worked so hard, practiced after school, memorized the lyrics, the steps. Thanks, Lilian, for putting up with me, I never could sing very well. Never, never will this memory leave my brain, even under the influence of the Alzheimer's disease. I lost warmth.

Monday, July 7, 2008

alright, i'm shocked.

7/07/2008 05:47:00 PM

We managed to scrape through. That's right, I, the magnificent Kid, managed to get through into the finals~!

Bah, that's rubbish. In fact, I wanna thank Lilian for bringing us into the finals. It was HER who won, not I. Thanks, Lilian. I'll work harder to win. Or at least not get tomatoes thrown at us on stage.

Malaysia, Malaysia, Malaysia. She is aptly named 'Heaven on Earth', for multiple reasons.

"I have a large cock" says a Malaysian politician

"Ah, I forgot, not one but two!"

A Malaysian woman in her typical habitat, about to sneeze.

Another Malaysian woman swearing, with her astonished partner behind.

A typical Malaysian swimsuit model.

Would you want her? * Vomits *

I don't think ANYTHING suits you, darling.

Do buy this brand of paint. They have matt and glossy finish too! And their taste is women are simply stunning. Period.

All well ends well, I'd say. I'd like to extend a huge thank you to the judges for picking us. Thanks for supporting. Yippy-dee-doo-dah, dear readers, another day we shall meet.

Friday, July 4, 2008

final part of the winfail

7/04/2008 08:54:00 PM

4.46pm on the same day

The solo auditions were about to begin. The tense aura built up almost suffocated me, even though I wasn't one of the participants. It suddenly got worse when Lin Vin called out "Wai Hoong! You're up."

1st solo

Aiight, let the video do the talking [ or is it singing? ]

2nd solo

Nice. Smooth voice, range of tones are wide. Only flaw is a little bit of strain that's visible when he goes soprano.

3rd solo

I don't think I can judge fairly on this... All I can say is I'll see her on the Cornflakes box the morning after the SG Idol.

4th solo

Too soft, dear. You failed to amuse me.

5th solo

Volume is there, good expressions, but not too outstanding. If a better choice of song is made, she'd do much better.

6th solo

Lack of variety of tones. Also a mistake in choice of song. Lack of amplitude too

7th solo

Watch this to LOL. Watch your high pitch, mate.

On this note, the report on the auditions have now ended, I'd say. The next audition was not recorded, on the other hand it wouldn't have produced any sound due to the amount of onlookers. THREE times more than the first rounds of the audition. Thanks for reading, come back soon.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

SG Idol Auditions 2008 - A Brilliant Failure

7/03/2008 08:26:00 PM

4.13 pm

First part of duet auditions for SG Idol starts. Facing the contenders were The Rok, Ho Yin, Lin Vin, Lydia, Yau and PZ[?]. Thus, the winning failure begins.

1st pair

Well, Peter could really sing. Antonio on the other hand, I'd say, screwed up. It's not known if he did it intentionally or otherwise. Still, an ancient chinese proverb applies here: Hear till come out ear oil. If I were judge, I would proudly procure two 2B pencils and stick them in my ears a la Malaysian Idol's judge's style.

2nd pair

This pair came as a surprise to me, I'd say... They chose the same song as Lilian and I did. They did fine... Cassandra sang enthusiastically, and so did the malay dude. Something really tainted the pair though. Quote Yau: The flower guy is gay, nuff said. Lilian > Cassandra.

3rd pair

All right, nice song. Lemon Tree by Lemon Tree. Nostalgic. Dear intelligent readers, have you spotted the flaw here? Lemon Tree is song for SOLO SINGERS. Moving on, the two weren't even meant for duet singing, they were two solo singers singing together. Not in sync, I might add. E.P.I.C. F.A.I.L spelled out in capital neon letters. The video speaks for itself.

4th pair

梁山伯与朱丽叶. The chinese song of Romeo and Juliet. I hate to say it, they sound really amazing. They're not the best, no, but she covers for his slightly-above-average singing. In fact the spotlight's on her, I'd say. Although they might not get into the finals, but she showed everyone something.

5th pair

In case you haven't noticed yet, the nerd on the right, he's me. That's right, it's Kid himself. The song Way Back Into Love, it's the same one as Cassandra and her partner's. The first thing you'll notice is the plank pose of the nerd. The second thing you'll notice is the melodious voice emitted from Lilian. If I had to say, she's one of the best singers at the audition, and in the whole school. I, on the other hand, had 10 minutes of Parkinson's due to stage fright, and probably caused us to commit fail worthy of Noob. Watch the video, it says everything.

The other duets were somewhere among the normal lines; and as such I don't feel like writing about them. The first part of the solo audition, and the second part of duet audition and solo audition would be posted up soon. Wait for it, I'd say.

Monday, June 30, 2008


6/30/2008 06:25:00 PM

I've heard that you're going to a Science competition this Saturday. Go win. You don't need any of that luck shit. I know you can do it. Do your best. I'll always be there.

*Beep* The intermission is now over.

Tagenesis to Bio students. Tagged by HB

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they are tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1) If your lover betrayed you,what will you reaction be?
-I get to learn something about her

2) If you can have a dream to come true,what will it be?
- Be a better person.

3) Whose butt would you like to kick?

4) What would you do with a billion dollars?
-Invest upon it wisely.

5) What's your ideal girl like?
-Like her

6) Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
-Loving someone

7) How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
-I'll have faith

8) If the person you secretly like is attached, what would you do?
-Try my best. If still doesn't work, respect her wish, she's happy.

9) Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
-Yes there is

10) If you can die in one way, how will it be?
-In my sleep

11) How do you see yourself in ten years time?
-I'll be here.

12) Who is currently the most important person to you?

13) What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
-Two words.

14) Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
-Duh, single and rich

15) What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
-Grab my glasses

16) Would you give it all in a relationship?

17) If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
-That's not possible

18) If someone asks you who your crush is in a game of truth or dare, would you tell the truth? Why?
Depends on the person who ask and the people who're there

19) The eight people you want to do this quiz?
-Pick your own next four

Thursday, June 26, 2008

cold toilet seat

6/26/2008 08:35:00 PM

Deathsponge Notepants

It's hot. Scorching hot. The amount of heat that could produce mirages. Marco squinted onto the track. Eight lanes, 400 metres per round. Two reps from each house was to compete against each other. A grueling three rounds and 200 metres to run. It was no easy feat.

"Damn, I'm lucky this event isn't on the main day." Marco turned to the seats. Only about a quarter of it were filled. Marco then glanced towards his opponents. Two from the Crimson house, Leon and David, Turquoise house; Principe and George; Azure house; Alex and Marcus. A friendly punch landed on Marco's shoulder. "Hahah, nothing to be worried about. We have me, remember?" Antonio grinned.

Marco said nothing and started stretching his limbs. Shit, I don't think I'm gonna win with this lot, I'd say. He bent down and started tying his shoelaces. He felt a drop of sweat running down his face and drip onto the burning track. "Get ready, 1400m event runners!" A fat teacher hollered. Our brave gladiators take their places.

"Ready, get set...GO!!!" Shapes and colours flash before Marco's eyes. Geh don't think about them, I'd say. Step, step. Inhale, exhale. It was going as planned, till halfway thru the second round. His vision was getting hazy, his breathing; laboured. Ah damn, just a little more, I'd say...

After what seemed like an eternity of running, Marco finally caught a glimpse of the finish line. Willing his quadriceps, he sprinted the last 100 metres. "Marco, seventh place." A voice boomed. Gahh, fail, I'd say.

His legs gave way, and he sat on the hot, frying track. "I really do need a cold toilet seat now, I'd say." Marco looked at Anthony, whom he deduced as the winner, from his laughing. Marco struggled and stood up. "Cold toilet seat..."

Deathsponge Notepants Part 2

Saturday, June 21, 2008

the gopher

6/21/2008 06:57:00 PM

*Turns to TV* *Picks up remote and presses Play*
*Opening song*

"So i heard you run pretty fast." Anthony said. "You bet he does! He doesn't look much, but he plays badminton and tennis quite well!" replied Lawrence before Marco had even lifted his head from his famous sleeping pose. More like INfamous, amirite?

"What're you asking this for?" Marco rubbed his right eye, his left eye half-closed. "It's the sports day next week. One of our runners injured his ankle." "Dargh shit... so I'm to be his substitute, right?" "Duh." Anthony lifted an eyebrow. Anthony was the captain of the Sunrise house. His lean muscles show his athletic identity.

"This event's lost if you want ME to participate." said Marco. "Doesn't matter, we can cover your loss with other events." laughed Anthony. "You've got a deal then." Marco shrugged. The Sunrise house triumphs over the other three houses,the Crimson house, the Azure house, and the Turquoise house, almost every year.

Marco eyed the list of other participants of the event. Hmm... I dunno... Maybe I could get something, I'd say. Gotta increase the time of my training now... How troublesome...

Suddenly, the image of her congratulating him, smiling, entered Marco's head. His eyes widened. A corner of his mouth turned upwards. The bell subsequently rang, and Marco quickly packed his things. " Why the rush?" Marco turned around. Tiffany smiled. "No... it's nothing. I've got some business to attend to." said Marco. He slung his bag around his shoulder. "Well, see you tomorrow..." "Okay." Marco pushed the door open. "Hey! Crimson house is gonna win this year!" said Tiffany playfully, with a smile. " I don't think so, not in my event." Marco grinned. "Bye."

Facing the tennis courts, Marco bent down to tie the 5kg weights on each of his ankles. He wrapped another two them around his wrists after that. Okay... 500 rounds for today, I'd say. Marco braced himself, and started running.

*Ending song*

Thursday, June 19, 2008

chronologically challenged

6/19/2008 05:07:00 PM

*Pauses TV and turns to face tag*

====================================== ====================================== ======================================
Five wishes given to you , what would them be :

- Study harder

- SPM full A1

- Mun Hong's laptop

- her happiness

- you can use my space for your wish, i don't have many
Who tagged you : Fucking old man


Her/His five characteristics :

- Taller than i

- Smart

- Reliable

- Loyal

- Judo

1) Any unforgettable thing she/he did ?

- Too many?

2) What if she/he's your lover ? (don't answer this if you're a boy)

- I'd say = =

3) What if she/he's your enemy ?

- I'd get ippon seoi everyday

4) If she's/he's your enemy , why would you hate her/him ?

- His english

5) What would you want her/him to do ?

- Think real and wake up

6) Her/his impression to you :

- Kuma


1) Everyone around you described you as :

- For ppl to judge




2) Which sort-of characteristics you hate ?
- I'm no one to judge


- examples :

3) Which sort-of characteristic you wannabe ?

- Gino

4) Shout out for the one who cares and you cared for :

- Glad you're happy

Tag 8 persons :

- Li Shan
- Bah you do it if you want



Monday, June 16, 2008

The puppeteer

6/16/2008 11:23:00 PM

*Opening song*

"Yeah, that's the combo you use for a Lord Knight," commented Lawrence. "Too slow. The SinCross would've killed you before you're even near." retorted Marco. His eyes flashed. "It would be another story though, if you and I became a combo... We'd be invincible..."

Lawrence was Marco's best friend. First mate. Comrade-in-arms. Half-brother. He was a little taller than Marco, bulkier, a little plump, and looked a little worse compared to your average guy. Still, he was clever, reliable and strong.

The bell rang. "Great... just in time for class. We'd get screwed by the old woman if we're late." snorted Marco. The two entered the class to find it three-quarter full. Marco and Lawrence returned to their seats, after having a not-so-satisfying at the school's shitty canteen.

Marco glanced backwards. Tiffany was tapping a pen on her desk, staring straight forward, seemingly deep in thought. Franky, the fatass who sits beside her, was busy talking to Dennis, who sits to the left of Franky.

The door blasted open at that moment, silencing the class. Everyone fears Miss Goldenweek, the old woman who taught them History. "It's alright, everyone. Miss Goldenweek is absent for today, and I'll be replacing her." said Mr. Moth, a History teacher from another class. "You can do your own work, so long as you're not too noisy."

Everyone heaved a sigh of relief, and continued with their activities. Some were playing PSPs, some were chattering away, some were doing schoolwork, and others were snoring away. Marco sighed, and started to shut his eyes. Suddenly, a hand tapped his arm. He shot up and immediately saw that Tiffany was looking at him.

He flushed. "What're you doing?" "Let's chat... I'm bored..." Tiffany smiled. "I've known you since last year, the second year of junior high. Yet I don't remember ever properly speaking to you before..." That's because I never started speaking to you before, thought Marco. "Yeah, I guess so. I'm the wallflower type... So I don't really speak to people much." said Marco. "Hahahahaha... you seem the type who studies really hard." laughed Tiffany. "No way! I don't really... I do it when exams are around the corner..." "Yeah, I'm like that too! It's really boring if I do it every day."

They talked for the two whole lessons... An hour and forty minutes of utter happiness, that made Marco smile. "Hey, the next teacher's gonna enter soon..." said Marco. "Yeah... hang on." Tiffany took hold of Marco's wrist and used a marker pen to draw a toadstool behind his hand, and colored it in with highlighters.

"Heeheehee... I wanna see this tomorrow still there. Promise?" Marco stared at the toadstool for a moment. "Yeah... you'll definitely be seeing it tomorrow. Promise" Marco smiled.

*Ending song*

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The appearance of the genius

6/15/2008 12:21:00 AM

*Opening song*

"Tiff!" "Steve!" Marco cringed. He felt like he was sitting in an electric chair every time they did that. Still, he feigned sleep.

JIANG JIANG JIANG ~ Select character P1: Steve !!

Steve. From the first class. Smart academically and street wise. Excels athletically. A popular person. Responsible. Understanding. 8/10 in appearance.

DANG DANG DANG ~ Select character P2: Marco !!

Marco. Second class. Not so smart academically. Knocks into trees when he walks. Average athletically. A wallflower. Slack-off. Insensitive. Statues go blind and plants wilt when he passes by.

"Ahhahh... I've stayed too long. See you after school!" "Okay..." Steve visits Marco's class every recess and lunch break. Every time Steve visits, Marco feigns sleep. Still his ears were wide open and alert, causing pain.

He'd have to keep a calm face if he were to be awake. Pretending to be asleep was way easier than doing that.

From the moment Marco was born, he never put in 100% effort in anything he did. Till now. He did everything within his reach to help Tiffany, in hopes of getting her attention and maybe, just maybe even capturing her heart. It's the first time he had a DREAM.

Pulling the strings, from behind the stage, deep in the shadows, the geek continues to assist the princess, even if she doesn't realize it... "Guh... keep it down... I'm trying to get some sleep..." Marco mumbled. "Hmph! Are you a vampire? Sleeping so early in the day!" Tiffany scowled.

I think I'm gonna faint... She looks stunning even she's mad. God damn. Marco quickly put his head in between his folded arms and made it to look as if he was going to resume sleeping. In truth, he did it to hide his beetroot-red face...

*Ending song*